There are a couple recent news items related to fathers that actually have more to do with how we as a society treat men as fathers. That ultimately have to do with how we treat mothers and what it means for children.
In one story from Time magazine, we learn that when men have paternity leave, their children and the mothers are better off. And as the title suggests, women are encouraged to lobby for paternity leave for men. All men. Workplace leave means that in cases of childbirth (aka maternity leave) the employee can be absent from work for up to 6 weeks (minimum) and guaranteed that their job is still in place. In some cases, the salary or pay continues despite the leave (compensated). While companies may have this leave for the mother, many do not have a similar policy in place for fathers. So if the baby is born on Saturday, he's back to work on Monday (unless he takes personal or sick leave, if he has it). In many low wage jobs, not returning to work means the loss of work all together, as there is no leave policy.
How might women and children be better off if the fathers also have paternity leave? At the very least it offers shared responsibility for caregiving, meaning diminished stress and strain on the new mother and giving her time to sleep and recover. But of course more time with the baby means more opportunities for bonding between the father and the baby, a stronger secure attachment with two caregivers.
A second story paints a bleak picture for women in academia as mothers, but essentially gets to the same point about advocating for equal policies for moms and dads. The news item shares that men and women without children are more likely to get tenure than women with children. The article offers the ironic fact that "In fact, academia has the distinction of being a more punishing profession for mothers than either law or medicine." So, here I am a faculty member who teaches the value of strong parenting, yet as a woman I risk my career future if I also have a child.
Tenure, as you probably know, is job security for those of us who work in higher ed with faculty positions (well, those who are hired into these kinds of employment lines. Others may be instructors, or administrators or staff with jobs that are contracted or salaried, but not guaranteed or protected). Tenure isn't given - ha! It is earned and faculty do very rigorous work in research productivity, teaching, and service over a period of years (6) and then submit documentation that has to be voted on at department, college and university levels. So, it's tough to get. Some don't. And once you're tenured you still maintain a high level of performance to move up ranks (from assistant to associate to full professor). Just ask. I'm a tenured associate professor and have the gray hairs and wrinkles to prove it.
So to be in academia, the demands of being a mother (because we want to be really good parents for our children) are managed along with the heavy demands of being productive as researchers, teachers and professionals. But in households in which men are seeking tenure, the load is absorbed more by their wives, often so that he can do what he needs to to get tenure. Or women put off having children or not had at all because of or to accommodate the demands of academia.
Let's not blame the men for this. Remember, there's still a ton of socialization that goes on that reinforces the women are caregivers and workers and men work and provide care to their children around the margins. And then there are policies (including in academia that yes, is a workplace) that don't offer men paternity leave, again reinforcing that women are the ones 'meant' to be with their children.
The article leads to the same point as the one in Time, that advocacy is needed for equal rights for men and for women, for mothers and for fathers (for parents equally in same-sex couples and for both parents regardless of biological birth or adoption.
The US as a national stinks when it comes to work supports for families, compared with other countries. This passage is from US News and World Report article in 2014:
According to Francine Blau and Lawrence Kahn of Cornell University, nearly a third of the decline in women’s labor force participation results from a lack of policies that support the primary parent (almost always the mother). Since 2000, most European countries have expanded policies like parental leave, child care and protection of part-time workers. Meanwhile, the U.S. has done practically nothing in these areas.Advocating for paternity leave for fathers can have direct implications on his caregiving to the baby and children, indirect aid to the mother (supporting her to do something other than caregiving) and direct aid to the family by enabling the mother's own ability to work and bring in income to the family.
America’s last significant family-friendly workplace policy was a 1993 bill that provided for up to 12 weeks of leave for some employees. [NOTE: About the time most of you reading this were born. It's been that long] And even though that bill provides only unpaid time off, it leaves many workers unprotected: Roughly 40 percent of U.S. workers are employed by companies with fewer than 50 employees, and these small businesses are exempt from the requirement.
Given what you're reading about fathering (the Gottman piece on "Add Warm Fathering") and from watching the "To Be a Father" video, what are your thoughts about work place policies that favor giving dads time off to be with their children? Why is it, do you think, that we don't do a better job supporting fathers to take leave? Or that we don't have equal parental benefits for men and for women?
I have personally always been confused as to why dads do not get the same benefits as moms when it comes to taking leave from work when the baby is born. I think that the U.S. is behind on this movement. As stated in the reading, dads act as the play partner for the child, and a warm/playful/secure relationship between a dad and a child has been shown to increase the child's self-control, social relationships, and verbal abilities. In the video, it was also highlighted that fathers are a very important factor in the child's development. Men want to be there for their children and many men are even taking on the "stay-at-home" role. I think that it is fair to say that moms and dads are now taking on more equal parenting roles in this day in age. Therefore, I think that work place policies should not only offer women maternity leave. I think that paternity leave needs to become the norm as well. This is probably not the norm already due to past stigmas that were created in regards to men and parenting. Men used to be seen as the breadwinner and then stand in disciplinarians, and nothing else. However, research shows that dads are much more than that! It is clear to me that policies need to change, so I am so surprised that policies surrounding this issue have not been touched on since 1993. Family policy makers need to make this issue a priority for discussion and action.
ReplyDeleteThe topic of paternity leave and giving equal benefits for men who have newborns is a top priority and needs to be addressed by our policy makers. In my family policy class we are learning and discussing this issue of family leave in great detail. The U.S. I believe ranks 57th in the world for types of family leave. It scores among the lowest in almost all categories. It has been proven in our readings and notes/powerpoints that dads are very important in the overall development of their child. Like Ashley stated they are the play partner, they are more physical and tactile, while the mother is more visual and verbal. Dad's are the best predictor of empathy in a child if they are involved by age 5. Dads are the greatest untapped resource in the lives of their children. They are not just there to give financial support and resources, but also to give comfort and promote the child's abilities of self-control and overall acceptance by friends and peers. In Sweden men are given a full year of paternity leave and if they don't take it they are frowned upon by the people around them. Sweden understands the giant role fathers play in the lives of their children and I think if we could adopt a paternity leave policy as well as upgrading our current policy for mothers to make them both equal, we would be taking a huge step in increasing the lives of children in the U.S..Policy makers should care how children are being raised because one day they will be the ones taking over and being concerned citizens themselves, we should start now by implementing better leave policies so children and parents can form that secure attachment. They should be able to get to know their child more than just based off a couple days or weeks. I think we should also tie this in with how dads are portrayed in media (movies, TV shows, commercials, etc.). Dads are seen as the unloving, cold, evil, strict, big jokers and fools, when ultimately I think the dads feel very de-valued by this portrayal of them and makes them fall silent to the roles and types of parents they know they should be when society views them as something else.
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ReplyDeleteI am definitely in favor of workplace policies that give dads time off to be with their children. Time is one of the most important factors that aides in a child's development and right after the child is born, it is so crucial for fathers to have time to bond with the child. I am very passionate about paid maternity and paternity leave because we are one of the only developed countries in the world that doesn't implement these policies. Many other countries, such as Sweden, like Lilly said, offer several months of paid paternity leave and it is somewhat embarrassing that the United States doesn’t even offer unpaid paternity leave for fathers. Through our policies, we are devaluing the importance of fathers in children's lives, and saying that they are not as essential as mothers, even though research proves that to be significantly incorrect. Like the video clip stated, "even though fathers can't breast feed, it doesn't mean they can't nurture". Deep down, our ideals still reflect on the idea of mothers as the caregivers, and fathers as the providers. I also think we are not doing a better job supporting the implementation of these types of policies because no matter how bad we want them, the money to allow fathers that time off still has to come from somewhere. The United States has a culture of being so against taxes, and citizens have the mindset of only thinking how a policy can affect himself or herself. We need to promote the idea of making policies for the greater good of society and considering the future, rather than only the present and instant gratification.
ReplyDeleteKatelyn, I just wanted to agree with you here! I think you are spot on about the reality that as long as people only wish to look after their own individual interests not much can change with family policy. I think we as a society might need to take a long, hard look at home much we really value families and children.
DeleteI personally believe that "maternity leave" is an old school view on parenting. It used to be much more common for mother's to stay at home with the children when there were few mothers who had jobs outside of their home. Now, it is likely for both parents to be working and more common for fathers to be the "stay at home" figure. With the times changing it makes sense for fathers to get just as much time with their newborns as mothers do, especially because this will help for children to have two primary caregivers to attach to. What makes me sad in this day and age, is that it is quite hard for there to be a "stay at home parent" at all. I grew up with just one working parent while my mother stayed at home with my sister and I until we entered junior high. I believe that I got a totally different experience growing up than most of my friends. Almost all of my friends and children that I went to school with, had two working parents. Now working in a child care, I have a perfect sense of what most of my friends experienced growing up. That is most of the children in my care center attend 5 days a week from 6am to 6pm because they have two working parents. It is crazy to me that children (especially the 3-5 year old age ranged) are away from their families for so long. This is why I believe it is important for all parents to get the same amount of time at home with their children following their birth. It will make the attachment easier and better the relationships they will have in the day cares they will most likely be attending and make it less confusing for all the different people they will see within those settings.
ReplyDeleteI have never really thought about why men don't get equal rights in regards to maternity leave as women up until this class. It makes a lot of sense though. Relating it back to what we learned in class about "what babies need", there are so many external factors that play into what babies need and we talked about stress on the mothers and the relationship between the mother and father playing a key role on-top of secure attachment. If men had maternity leave rights the way women did it could be very beneficial for baby as well as the family. All babies have different temperaments, we talked about that so mothers who are constantly taking care of a "hard" baby all the time with no help from the father can have a negative affect, the mother can become stressed and that can affect the relationship with her spouse, etc. If men had maternity leave I think society would take that as an alteration to gender roles and that probably has a lot todo with why this is an up incoming issue. Woman have always been the ones to stay at home with the children and men have always been the breadwinners. I think that this policy would go against what society has always told us is "normal" but our society is constantly changing and this could be a very positive adjustment. We live in a society where it's totally normal for both parents to be working which is a change from the past where women were expected to stay home. I think that if both parents are working and contributing thats already a lot of time that they are not being able to bond so both parents should receive maternity benefits.
ReplyDeleteSomething I noticed that had not been pointed out yet is that part of the purpose of Maternity leave is for mothers to recover from childbirth and get a good start with breastfeeding. And if we are being honest- men don't enter fatherhood in the same way that women enter motherhood, fathers are not the ones that need 6 weeks to recover from a C-section after all! I really don't believe its fair to women to take away their maternity leave and give it to fathers.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time- I do think that creating a place for PARENTAL LEAVE is crucially important for families. I can see how this works in Canada, where biological mothers receive 15 weeks of maternity leave and then either parent can take up to 36 weeks of parental leave in the first year of their child's life. This system is obviously not perfect, but it does give one or both parents alternating, the opportunity to spend time home with their child.
Also, on a lighter note- one of my pregnant friends shared this onto her husband's facebook and I thought its a bit relevant to this topic.
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpl1/v/t1.0-9/12715429_611221599028523_4156525006300460425_n.jpg?oh=8114ab6b5eccacc2eb566effc2f97b79&oe=576F9B36
I completely agree with the concept of Parental Leave. I think that a lot of times businesses also overlook the fact that people adopt children as well. When my parents adopted me in 1996 my mom was not allowed to take 'maternity leave' because she did not biologically have me. Now this policy has changed since then and many women are allowed to take 'maternity leave' when they adopt but fathers should be able to as well. My dad's company had a much more understanding concept of him taking time off of work to take care of me than my mom's work. Having my dad's work allow him to take time off of work was much more beneficial for me to connect and make a secure attachment with him.
DeleteI have always felt that fathers should get the same benefits as mothers. Fathers should get time off to spend time with their child, because they play a huge role in parenting just like mothers. Developing a strong, healthy relationship with their child is going to have a great outcome in the end, and make their child feel loved, and cared about. In "Warm Fathering", Gotten stated that "Fathers provide a bounty of gifts. Fathers offer infants more freedom to explore while moms promote precautions. Fathers play is more physical and tactile, while moms play is more visual and verbal. Moms are guides, and dads are playmates." A child should have fun with the father and smile, and laugh, and explore new things. Another piece of the reading that I really liked that Gottman stated was "A child will do best if the dad is involved, playful, caring, above all WARM." We now live in a society where women are starting to work more, just like men. We are used to women always staying at home taking care of the children, and the men bringing home the money. I think it is important that fathers are also able to have paternity leave as well so both parents can bond with their child and grow loving, healthy relationships.
ReplyDeleteI am all for paternity leave. Not only are women recovering physically in those 6 weeks, they're also physically and mentally adjusting to motherhood: the new personality, the new schedule, the new demands, the new expenses. Everything is new (and very stressful!). It's not hard to see that they need a break sometimes. If the father is able to stay home, he can give the mother both practical and emotional support. Parenthood is a giant change for the father as well. He has to adjust to everything the baby brings just like the mother. Fathers are human too, and they need just as much emotional support whether they admit to it or not. Being able to stay home with the child for a while could allow the father to feel more involved with and attached to his child. The parents can also work together on the one task of parenting rather than working separately.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea of giving paternity leave to fathers when a child is born is scary to a lot of people in business simply because if you aren't there, you can't work (usually) and the workplace will lose money. It is clear from other countries implementation of this that it can be done. Norway, for example, offers the choice of 26 weeks of paid leave or 36 weeks with 80% pay. Clearly this is a MUCH different system than we have in America but its easy to see that other places recognize the important of this time in a child's (and parents) life. The first weeks of a baby's life are very important in establishing a strong bond and forcing a father to go straight back to work could definitely hinder this. In fact, I think that this only reinforces the stereotype of men being less involved in their children's lives. I do hope that in the future, more businesses in the United States will be more relaxed or give options as to what a father can do when his baby is born.
ReplyDeletesource: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/17/best-countries-for-patern_n_7595946.html