> As you review this list, consider the themes that you see.
> Taking at least one of these outcomes, HOW might the relationship contribute? To give words to our experience in relationships is to share our understanding of what they are, how they operate, how they feel, and to understand the motivations and influences on the parent and on the child.
Read through other comments posted and try to identify one on the list that has not yet been mentioned.
· How to see the world
· How the world sees the individual
· How to bring one’s own sense of purpose
· The ability to grow from a sense of having a safety
net
· Being successful in life
· Learning from the other person in the relationship
· Gaining independence, and becoming self-sufficient
· Appreciate the mistakes that the parent made, learn
from the parent’s modeling, to not replicate those in own life
· Gain confidence in trying new things (again with
that sense of having a safety net)
· Learning how to react to the world
· Learning from the relationship as a model for how to
engage in other relationships
· Gaining a sense of obedience to expectations
· Gaining confidence in how to deal with changes
· Learn emotional self-regulation
· Further own abilities to become whom we want to be
For example, if we take the first one: "How to see the world" the impact relates to adult perceptions that can shape choices and interactions with others and with the larger society. The relationship between the parent and the child may affect this through the communication shared between the parent and the child throughout the child's lifetime. That communication may be described as, interaction that shares the parents' own perspective, that asks the child about his or her understanding of the world, to interpret the actions of other people or events, to discuss consequences or benefits. And a context description of the communication is that communication may be shared in a space that is continuous, trusted, respectful.
Your turn: What themes do you see in this list of impacts? What role might the parent-child relationship play in influencing that impact?
I think that the relationship a child has with he or she's parents form he foundation for every relationship the child will encounter in life. I think I am a strong believer in this because I dated a guy for five years and he didn't have a good relationship with his parents and that affected our relationship and his friendships tremendously. The relationship between a child and their parents affects how open they are with others, how they treat people, how emotionally available they are and how they go about reacting to things. I think that how kids see their parents act towards each other and their peers is a strong indicator on how they are going to treat people in life and by looking at a persons relationship with their parents can have a strong correlation to how your relationship with them is going to be.
ReplyDeleteI think gaining confidence in how to deal with changes is a big impact because change happens everyday. People move, get new jobs, meet new people, lose people, etc. Facing your fear and taking risks boosts your self-confidence. No matter that obstacle comes in their way, they have the ability to overcome them. Never giving up, because there is a solution to everything. You are unable to predict, and control everything that happens. When negative impacts happen, it doesn't always have anything to do with you or what you did. Being able to embrace the unknown, taking risks, and practicing confidence will help on how to deal with changes. Everyone is cable and worthy.
ReplyDeleteI think the role the parent-child relationship plays in confidence in how to deal with change. It exposes children to bigger experiences and also encourages new abilities and skills.The child is eventually going to have to deal with the real world and learn the good, the bad, and the ugly. Changes are desirable for children to experience in which the change can develop their self-confidence, independence, and discipline. Parents have to listen to their children on what they have to say, especially if they need help with something. When parents cope with stress well, the children will learn to do the same.
One overarching theme that came to mind when looking at this list is the fact that most of our impacts of our parent-child relationships were positive, and we might have unintentionally avoided negative impacts. One of the students in our class (I'm sorry, I already forgot her name!) briefly mentioned that parent-child relationships can have a large impact on the child's mental health. Ideally, the parents are showing the children how to cope with their problems in a healthy way, and even how to avoid those problems before they arise. However there is a flip side to that which should be mentioned, since not all relationships are perfect.
ReplyDeleteFor example, maybe a child grew up with very distant parents. They may have not physically been around, or possibly just not emotionally supportive. That child then mimics that relationship into other relationships, similar to what Alexis said about her ex-boyfriend's relationships. Those distant, cold relationships might leave a child feeling depressed and alone.
This might be an extreme example, but it is the first thing that came to mind when trying to illustrate my points. We'd like parent-child relationships to always have positive impacts on the child, since they are the future of our society. The reality is, unfortunately, that not all children are fortunate to learn from positive relationships. This forces them to learn from other friends and role models how to change their own relationships and improve their overall mental health and quality of life.
I totally agree with everything posted before. I'll just add that a child's relationship with his/her parents can form warped achetypal perceptions of whole social groups that may become deeply ingrained in the child's mind. So instead of mimicking a relationship, a child as an adult may try to avoid certain people unwarrantedly as a result of having these false cognitions.
ReplyDeleteFor example, a woman who had a physically abusive father may view all males as potentially aggressive and dangerous and may have trouble having relationships with men in general, or if her father was sexually abusive to her, that may in turn make a woman more likely to engage in homosexual interactions and avoid men altogether. Freud was wrong about many things, but without a doubt, his great attention towards childhood was not unfounded.
While reading through the list, I felt that many of the concepts relate back to the idea of a "safety net" created by the family, which allows for growth, exploration, greater success, and a bigger sense of independence for the child. What I mean is that family provides a safe place filled with unconditional love that a child knows will never go away. Thus, the child is more willing to leave the nest, explore their abilities/likes/goals, and try things are their own. In the back of their mind they know that if things fail their family will be there for support. The idea of a safety nest is created through communication of respect, love, and acceptance from both parties in the relationship. It is also created through actions, such as welcoming gestures, and physical displays of affection, like hugs. This helps the child to know that their family will always love them and comfort them if they fail. Therefore, I feel that the concept of a "safety net" is the basis for many of the other concepts and themes seen in this list. Without a fall back, children might be less likely to take risks and try to do things on their own.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading through this list, I felt many of the parent-child relationship concepts were a lot about how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. It also ties in with the whole idea that the parent and child both learn and grow from each other. As children are growing up they look to their parents/guardians on how to behave and act, as well as being told how they should present themselves. We learn how to communicate effectively or maybe not so effectively from our parents. They try to teach us right from wrong and raise us to become independent people who can provide for ourselves. Parents learn a lot from having children and being responsible for someone other than themselves. I think this idea ties in with many of the above points on the list, for example, how to view the world, learning to react and engage with the world and people around us, confidence, success, etc.. The impact is that the parent has essentially provided their child with the skills and techniques needed to cope with everyday life and communicate with the world around them.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading through the compiled list of impacts that parents have on their children, I noticed many different themes. These different categories, however, are all largely related to one specific area: character. We learn so much from our parents whether we are consciously aware of it or not. This has been illustrated for me, personally, through living on my own with roommates. I have had to realize that not everyone grew up with the same rulebook, so there are bound to be differences that must be overcome (for me, anyways) with patience and respect.
ReplyDeleteA recurring theme I noticed was the idea that a parent's past experience strongly influences the child's future perception of the world.
ReplyDeleteSimilar to what Khanh had stated, the child often ends up following their parent's footsteps, or they can use their parent's mistake to be a lesson for them in the future. For example, in the case of "Learning how to react to the world", if a parent was to be optimistic during tough times, they could pass that mentality onto to their children. So, when put in a difficult position, the child reflects their parent's optimistic viewpoint. On the down side, if the parent were to be easily irritated when angered, a child could also inherit that personality trait since they view it as an acceptable way to react to certain situations. In some cases, the child could see the consequences that come with an irritable attitude and could sway away from reacting in that way.
One major theme is communication with other people and the world around us. The concept of "How the world sees the individual" is influenced by the way parents communicate with their child. Parents express to their children how they view them. The parents view about their children is largely influenced by society and the people that they interact with. A lot of times children will learn to compare themselves to their peers because their parents will make comments about how well one of their peers is doing. The child learns that the world will compare to other people.
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ReplyDeleteGoing through this list, one way that parents influence children that stood out to be was being successful in life. There are many different ways to define success, so I think that this point correlates with many of the other ways, such as confidence (or lack of) in trying new things, independence, and all future relationships. One theme for most of these points could be learning how to fit into and be a productive member of society.
ReplyDeleteSince there are many ways of defining what it means to be successful in life, children could be influenced by their parents in a number of ways regarding this aspect. Parents engrain values into their children and teach them how to be a good person according to their own standards, and this contributes to how successful they are. Parents also encourage children to get a high-quality education if they have the resources to do so, because getting a good job is another way that people in our society define success. Parents also teach kids how to have good social skills and interact with others, and relationships that the child has in the future could also contribute to how "successful" they are as adults. Success means something different to everyone, so parents will likely pass their own definition down to their children. For example, according to my uncle, making a lot of money and having a high-paying job is what makes a person successful, so that is the ideal that my cousins hold. However, my parents have taught me different ideas of what it means to be successful, such as being a good person. Therefore, I have different types of goals and strive for different things in life than some of my relatives due to what my parents have taught me.
-Katelyn Castle
Continuing on with what Megan was saying about how relationships with parents allow children to learn how to adapt to changes in life, I would like to add that connection and trust to parents is part of what builds resilience in children and gives them the inner ability to grow through challenges and changes successfully. Being securely attached to parents and forming those trusting relationships early in life is so key to how children will develop this ability to adapt and show resilience through difficult circumstances and life stressers.
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