As Professor Walker touched on in her post about fathers needing a paternity leave and not just mothers because of the added value and importance fathers play in their child's lives, we should also consider the way fathers may feel about their portrayal across all types of media (movies, TV shows, social media, in books, etc.). Fathers used to be seen as a type of walk on role, there when discipline or money is needed. Now days they are portrayed as the cold, evil, strict, big fool, and uninvolved parent when this is not the case for all fathers. Based on these portrayals fathers may feel de-valued as a significant parental figure and they may feel silenced to the ways they think they should parent. Do you think the way the media portrays fathers makes them feel de-valued and unsure of how they should parent or do you think some fathers rely on media to show them how they should parent and act around their children? Despite how the media portrays fathers, we know for a fact that fathers play a key role in the development of their children. One role is a dad's play, which is more physical and tactile helps generate a baby's self-control abilities and aids in the prediction of how the child will be viewed and accepted. As Dr. Pruet said, "Fathers are the greatest untapped resource in the lives of their children."
Moving away from fathers, we also learned about the impact and role culture plays in the upbringing and parenting styles of the parent-child relationship. Culture is seen as the symbolic system of norms, rules, symbols, language, and network of social relations. Meaning the system developed from interaction processes. Parent- Child relationships are the most intimate, enduring, and non-voluntary relations we have. In the readings we learned how the relationships and interactions transmit and transform cultural meanings. We learned how different cultures raise their young (subsistence farming, hunter-gatherer, individualistic, etc.) the development process they go through and the skills needed to live in that type of culture. If you would like, share something you found interesting or that surprised you about the way different cultures influence development. Feel free to use examples of the different cultures we learned about or from your own experience.
Reflecting on how culture shapes our parent-child experience made me also wonder about the impact of the industrial revolution, and more recently, the 1950s, "traditional" family where the dad leaves the home each day to work and the mother stays home to care for the children and the home. In the stereotype of this family, the father comes home from work tired and his wife brings him his slippers and keeps the children from disturbing him as he relaxes for the evening.
ReplyDeletePreviously, when families did more of their farm or trades work from home, it seems likely that fathers shared more of the responsibilities for childcare and spent a fair amount of time with their children as the family worked together. I wonder how this shift in fathers' work from home or community based location, into the inaccessible office or manufacturing plant impacted child-father relationships. Sometimes it seems that the breadwinner, uninvolved father and stay-at-home mother always existed, but I know, even in my family, that agricultural lifestyles meant that my father and grandfather spent a fair amount of time with both of their parents on a daily basis.
I found this great article about fatherhood in other cultures and the history of fatherhood. Historically, ancient civilizations honored fatherhood and men have had a superior position in public worship as the head of their households to which their wives and children are subordinate to them. The Ottoman Empire in the 16th and 17th century only allowed men to dominate the throne and have government and legal authority, and they were to be obeyed and respected by their families and countries. It's a stark contrast to the "big old fool" father figure in modern-media today, and I can't help but wonder how did we get here? I think there must be a bi-directional relationship between societal/family expectations of fathers and the way fathers act. Some fathers are selfish, "too busy" or too "stressed" and allow mothers to do all the work for them, and some are competent and helpful but their families have low expectations of them and do not demand more from the father. An example of society's low expectations of fathers is when people refer to a father "babysitting" their kids when the mother is away. No one would say a mother is "babysitting" her own children. Fatherhood isn't something to simplify, but I don't think the media portrayal of it is doing any good for families in the long run by underestimating how much of an impact fathers have on their children.
ReplyDeleteSorry that last post is by Madison Peton, I'm not sure why it says unknown, and here is the article I referenced: "Examining Different Perspectives on Fatherhood, a Socio-Cultural Approach"
ReplyDeletewww.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042811002825
Susan recently posted a link to a clip on how different families feed their children. I was astonished at this cultural difference because it always seemed so simple to me: feed your baby when they need help feeding, but let them explore feeding themselves when they are beginning to have that ability. Of course you're going to have food on their clothes, table, floor, etc. and probably a decent amount of food wasted while they try to learn how to eat independently, but I always assumed this was the norm.
ReplyDeleteThere was a family that had very different practices than what I am familiar with. The mother fed her two year old with a spoon, getting the child to pay close attention to her feeding. This seemed kind of old to me, until I saw her feed her four year old as well. The older child had absolutely no control over the food. The video mentioned that the goal was interdependence, not independence. Her worry was that since the younger child was only two, that she would get rice or ketchup on her clothes. My reaction to this was very shocked thinking about what the kids would do when not only going to pre-school/kindergarten and needing to be fed, but when they face new experiences and do not know how to approach it themselves. They may not have the "safety net" at home to explore independently, and in turn apply to new real-world situations.
Did anybody else have a similar, or different, reaction to this video?
Last summer, I went to Ghana for a month to be a volunteer in an orphanage. The way that adults influence children's development seemed to be much different than here, since they are more of a hunter-gatherer type society. Children learn the skills to survive by watching adults around them do them, since most of their ways of doing things are very basic and rudimentary. For example, they bake all of their food in large pots and also wash clothes by hand. These skills are much easier for children to grasp, unlike the advanced ways of doing things in the United States, but overall take much more time and labor. Children learn patience and hard work a lot more in these types of societies, but they also learn to be more worried about basic survival and less on higher levels of needs, such as their education.
ReplyDeleteOne experience that stood out to me was when I did an art lesson to the third-grade class at the local school. Teachers would tell the kids to make their painting exactly like mine, and would even hit the children with a yardstick if they did not follow the model. This was very shocking to me because all of my experiences in art in grade school encouraged self-expression and innovation. Since society is much more collectivist in developing countries like Ghana, I noticed how much uniformity was emphasized and free expression and creativity were discouraged. I think that this is one of the biggest differences in the development of children in countries who have yet to become modernized.
I really feel like you explained this piece wonderfully on how the roles of parents as well as their culture influences the raising and development of children. I agree with you in the fact that fathers should be included and very much involved with the upbringing and the overall general life of the child. I remember when I was growing up that I really didn't have my father actively participate in my life as much as my mother. Even though he was physical in my life until I was fifteen, I really did't feel his presence and effort in my daily life. I got everything that both parents are expected to provide (i.e love, care and help) from my mother. By, this I'm trying to explain that father's need to take in account that if they don't get involved the lives of their children the mother will step in and provide the needs of the children which may lead them to be less concerned about their father. I think the media especially certain children TV shows (Disney Channel) has formed an influence on single parenting and the roles of fathers and how the mother provided raised and guided her children in being great and also on the extra effort and struggle that mothers make to ensure that their children are successful.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I feel that culture as an important role in shaping a child especially if the child's parent have a different culture then were they currently live. This is were the parents along with the child try to balance out the different cultures in order to create a comfortable relationship and understanding. I also understand that some cultures have practices for example, the touch which is different but also very nurturing and beneficial for the child as they grow up in a way it strengthens some relations like trust and reliance between the child and the parent.
I really feel like you explained this piece wonderfully on how the roles of parents as well as their culture influences the raising and development of children. I agree with you in the fact that fathers should be included and very much involved with the upbringing and the overall general life of the child. I remember when I was growing up that I really didn't have my father actively participate in my life as much as my mother. Even though he was physical in my life until I was fifteen, I really did't feel his presence and effort in my daily life. I got everything that both parents are expected to provide (i.e love, care and help) from my mother. By, this I'm trying to explain that father's need to take in account that if they don't get involved the lives of their children the mother will step in and provide the needs of the children which may lead them to be less concerned about their father. I think the media especially certain children TV shows (Disney Channel) has formed an influence on single parenting and the roles of fathers and how the mother provided raised and guided her children in being great and also on the extra effort and struggle that mothers make to ensure that their children are successful.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I feel that culture as an important role in shaping a child especially if the child's parent have a different culture then were they currently live. This is were the parents along with the child try to balance out the different cultures in order to create a comfortable relationship and understanding. I also understand that some cultures have practices for example, the touch which is different but also very nurturing and beneficial for the child as they grow up in a way it strengthens some relations like trust and reliance between the child and the parent.
Nothing about the different raising techniques really surprise me because they all made sense except I found it interesting that some of the ideas were put under collectivism societies when they could have worked for all of the cultures, even the individualized one. For example, obeying and honoring ones own parents, that works for every society, the parents or elders are always the head of a household and children obey them, punishment styles may vary but that is consistent. Same thing for performing ceremonial duties, children in every society usually don't work for fun, they work cause it's expected and the same thing holds true with society today, we work to survive, its an aspect of life.
ReplyDeleteIn todays class, we watched a clip of parent-children relationships and how they influence cultural values, and cultural context. I found it fascinating how in the third setting, with the mom and two children how she took the food with her wherever the children were playing. As the children were playing, the mother was feeding them. The mom did assert some control, as it was a mixture. The children did not have any control over the food, as the mother had control over the feeding. The mother wanted to teach her kids to be more accepting with help, and not be so independent quite yet. Compared to the other settings that was in the clip, I feel like having independence at a young age will allow the children develop new skills, self-dicipline, and self-regulation. As the child grows up being more independent, they might like trying new things and have fun exploring.
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ReplyDeleteCurrently, I am really interesting in "traditional families" in the 1950s/1960s (mostly since I have watching "Mad Men" on Netflix) where the husband strives to provide financial stability and the wife stays at home and takes cares of the kids - Stephanie also touched up on the same idea/stereotype - but I think that it is extremely interesting just how a time period alone can have such a strong impact on parent-child relationships as well as child development.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up in a small town and community, I didn't really get a sense of the different cultures and backgrounds and was somewhat sheltered in that way. Then when I turned 16 I got an offer to work in a boarding school in California and continued to work there for several years following. This is where I got a huge reality check when it came to where different people come from. The demographic of students at the school consisted of mainly Asian and Caucasian while the rest of the students were split up between Hispanic, African American, Pacific Islander. My job title was dorm parent and the interesting thing about that was that I dealt with the children living on campus. Even though most of the students attending school were white, more than half of the students that boarded the school were of Asian background and ages ranging from 10-18. What this told me initially, was that parents didn't want to deal with their kids. The school was an expensive, prestigious, private school and I learned after getting to know the parents that they sent their children to this school prided their child's education and independence. In Southern California, boarding schools are very common and international students are even more common. The time I experienced with these children and with other children on campus was very eye opening to the different ways kids are raised. The parents of the children in the boarding schools were very well off and wanted their children to get the most of their experience while they are young. Students in the school were signed up for surfing camps, arts camps, equestrian and education programs. I felt as if the parents that sent their children to boarding schools because they felt as if the support and experience was what they needed.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest thing I learned about Asian culture was not about the parent child relationship in particular, but the way the children acted did reflect how they were raised. The oldest Korean boys (in this case 8th grade boys) were looked up to, respected and somewhat feared by the younger boys. When an older boy told a younger boy what to they always listened and never questioned or talked back. They were also very respectful towards authority and elders and rarely talked in their presence.
I would say that a large amount of media does portray men as basically useless when it comes to parenting, other than the fact that they provide for the family. I believe, though, that this media is created as a result of this belief being held by the general population. Only recently have we begun to understand the importance of the role fathers play on attachment and development. Basically, I'm saying that our beliefs came first, and we developed media based on that. Now, as we're trying to uproot this common belief, the media is continually reinforcing the idea, thus making it harder to eliminate.
ReplyDeleteSomething I found really interesting about culture and attachment that I have learn is that different cultures are more likely to produce certain types of insecure attachment than others due to their values.
Because the use of technology has increased over the years, I do believe some father's turn to the media to help them be "better fathers". Of course, sometimes even when fathers don't want to turn to media, it is often difficult to avoid the media's message. Because I constantly use Facebook, I have been seeing more videos of fathers taking care of their children from fixing their daughter's hair to father's bonding with their newborn.
ReplyDeleteSomething interesting about culture is, in the Hmong community, the men are seen as the head of the household. The gender role for men are to be the tough, hardworking, disciplinary figures in the family. That being said, in some cases, fathers often show tough love towards their children. Hmong fathers tend to feel like, if they don't discipline their children in such a manner that their parents disciplined them, the child could grow up to be disrespectful or ruin their own lives in the future. Therefore, most children often bond more with their mother since the mother is the one that shows more affection.
I'd say, in general, in East or South-East Asian countries males are supposed to fullfill the roles you've described. There is also the overall respect towards the elders and ancestors that permeates these cultures, so children tend to be more obedient and respectful towards their parents. The concept of filial piety, which stems from Confucianism, is quite integral to the values and to the overall dynamic of parent-child relationships there.
DeleteI definitely agree with you on the fact that the media in today's society portrays fathers as a less-involved, not as emotional, strong figure for their children. While I'm sure there are fathers out there with this mentality, I don't think it's necessarily an accurate representation of the modern day father. I think the biggest factor in deterring how a father is going to parent is how he was raised. If he has been taught from a young age that boys don't show emotion, it is likely that he will keep to this trend.
ReplyDeleteTo answer the question about whether this portrayal makes fathers seem de-valued, I would say so. It has to be especially hard for those fathers with a strict, "macho" parenting style to watch their children run to their mother with all their exciting news. I think the degree to which the father feels this de-valueing definitely varies and on the flip side, some fathers may feel quite content having drastically different roles than their significant other.