In the fictitious but actually based on rare but true stories, 'Room' offers us stressful context influences on parenting and on child development to the max. When we accept that these conditions are possible and not the imaginations of a creative writer, we wonder about the outcomes. What might happen to a child under these conditions - born and raised in a singular environment (more like a cage), seriously limited, and with repeated exposure to trauma. And what too, of the outcomes, when the parent is also enduring this trauma?
Without reading the book or seeing the film, we can still speculate and appreciate what others have to say. A recent article in Slate magazine explored this scenario and interviewed professionals. It's a quick read. In particular though, notice this sentence that starts a paragraph late in the article: "Perhaps a key thing to keep in mind here is that even in the most trying of circumstances, good, attentive parenting can go a long way."
Optimal word here is 'attentive.' Which is a primary focus (no pun intended) for our discussion this week and the weeks coming up regarding 'what babies need,' and 'attachment,' and continuing on in the course.
I watched Room last night out of curiosity (and a prime chance for procrastination) and was completely sucked into it. Those two hours felt like 30 minutes because of how relevant this is to our discussion this week. My initial gut reaction was that Jack was incredibly smart, communicable, and disciplined. He was reading, knew many words, and didn't seem the slightest bit upset by his upbringing. However, that is all he knew. After learning that he was raised to believe that "room" is the world in its entirety, my heart broke. He was so naive but Ma knew that they needed to escape, thus informing Jack on the reality of their situation. I believe that her sheltering her son from reality for the first few years of his life really made a drastic difference. When released, he still thought of room as his home or comfort zone, to the point that he wanted to go back. If he knew all along that they were being held against her will, he would have been indefinitely more traumatized.
ReplyDeleteThe article brought many important tasks to mind. Maybe most important is the issue of communicating with other people. Jack and his mom got along wonderfully, for the most part, aside from his occasional temper. When in the hospital and even with his grandmother, he is extremely uncomfortable trying to communicate simple answers directly to those other than Ma. But eventually, with help from a therapist, he was able to open up and learn how to communicate with others.
Another point I want to bring up is what the TV interviewer said to Joy about her being selfish in keeping Jack. I believe that at the time, she didn't think she had a choice. She got pregnant and the only other person to provide "support", would be her keeper. Why would a mother, who has been held in a shed for almost two years at the time, trust him to pass the child over to an orphanage? In retrospect, of course he would have been better off being given to another family. But with the only choice that Joy saw reasonable, she did a remarkable job raising him to be the most psychologically normal as she could.
- Kristi Kuehn
ReplyDeleteAll these tragic stories raise a very interesting question about the human nature.
ReplyDeleteWhat really makes us human? What differentiates us from other animals? One might say, duh, our awesome brains, but then if we look at numersous cases of feral children, children raised by animals or living completely severed from society, we can clearly see that unlike other animals, human babies are like clean slates and if they are raised or living surrounded by animals, they take up the characteristics of those animals. For example, the "Russian bird boy" was treated by his mom like a pet and was living with a flock of birds in a tiny roomm, and when the authorities found him, he was chirping like a bird and didn't communicate like a human being. Similarly, in other cases, children raised by a pack of dogs or chimpanzees, behaved accrodingly. Our brains, of course, are an integral part of our what we are, since in some cases feral children still managed to regain their humanity, but, a big "but", only with assistance and continued efforts from other people.
I'd say other humans make us human, and all these stories reinforce the undeniable fact that if we want our world to become a better place, we should treat others better, especially kids.
I totally agree with you that babies are like clean slates. There is so much influence being projected onto little children every day with whatever experiences they may encounter. Just like the examples you gave, depending on who and how they interact with others clearly plays a great role in the development of their disposition.
DeleteI'm kind of amazed at the stories the article shared. Being born into captivity like that and having no knowledge of the outside world, how do you know how to behave and act like a human? How do you even know what you're capable of? Like the child that was raised by her deaf and mute mother, did the child know they even had the ability to talk? It amazes me because we always learn about the "critical period" or I think back to the attachment experiment with monkeys and how crucial attachment and the environment is on an infant during the first stages of life. The monkeys were put in high stressed environments and clung to the "cloth" monkey instead of the wire one even if that meant giving up food. The monkeys were basically driven to insanity in such a short period of time. Monkeys and humans are known for having numerous similarities but monkeys under those conditions were violent and didn't adapt so the fact that humans are able to do that is truly amazing. Thinking about the movie Room, it's super cool that she was able to stimulate Jacks brain the way she did I want to start reading the book.
ReplyDeleteI think that being attentive to the child is very important and essential to their growth and development. I can say that I can personal relate to this because that when I was growing up I got more attention and support from my mother than my father. I felt like I could rely and communicate comfortable with my mother more than my father. Children yarn for attention and assistance and I feel that children will become more attached more to the parent or parents(s) that gives them the attention alongside the care they need.
ReplyDeletePersonally from the film "Room" I felt that the child was very obedient to his mother "Ma". This might be because of the attention and the providing that she was able to give him during his young. This makes him to obey and do things that his mother wants and expects. I felt that the mother has nutured him in a manner that makes him think that that's all that he needs. He is not really given the chance to leave his house and do things that he might want to, due to the lack of exposure from his mother.
I think it's so interesting to dissect Jack's mother and how she underwent extensive trauma while in Room. Although Jack appeared to have been frightened and frustrated at times, it seems as though Jack wasn't deeply impacted by his mother's trauma until they escaped and faced the oddity of the real world. I think this is because his mother was truly in survival mode in Room, attending to his basic physiological and safety needs at all times, and doing her best to guide him when her abuser wasn't in the Room. This was not the case when they were free. I think she didn't know to have so many survival needs taken care of, and so she was left with the damage and trauma she experienced, which deeply upset Jack and caused him to feel alone and scared when she attempted to hurt herself. I think the distress in this film greatly corresponds to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and reflects an ironic truth that Jack was more traumatized in the safer environment because he had to experience his mother's post traumatic stress.
ReplyDeleteAlthough repressed from the outside world at such a critical point in his life, Jack had a great potential of bouncing back and making a close to full recovery. I've read many accounts of children and their resilience. Going through great trauma and experiencing encounters that seem quite impossible to recuperate from. Attentive parenting is a huge part of shaping a child into who they will be for the rest of their life. From the little bit of the movie that I saw, Joy's hopeful attitude gave Jack an outlook on life most in those odds wouldn't possibly have. The hierarchy of needs, points out the essential parts in order of importance to a child for ultimate growth and development. Unfortunately not all children (Jack included) have the access to these fundamentals. Despite the odds, children are amazing beings and there is always a possibility of recovering fully and becoming a typical functioning adult. Although Joy underwent the same ordeal as her son and had access to the same nourishment's, she put her sons needs above hers and makes his life as great as she possibly can.
ReplyDeleteI read an article a few months ago about the affects of developmentally inappropriate responsibilities on children. The actual article was focused on low income and immigrant children who are needed to translate for parents or who carry family responsibilities or stresses that are not typical for their age and level of development. Studies found that these responsibilities and extra knowledge of family difficulties caused extra stress and increased hormonal responses and trauma in children.
ReplyDeleteAlthough a bit of a different situation, I wonder if parents such as Joy in Room who shelter their children from realities and stressors which are too much for them to cope with are doing them a service. Young children are not meant to carry adult worries about safety and security, and I can see how Joy's desire to shelter her son and give him a developmentally appropriate understanding of their situation may have actually been helpful for his development and sense of security. I absolutely agree with what Chelsea said about his mother putting Jack's needs ahead of her own. His early childhood was not perfect, but it does seem like he shows resilience and will probably have a good future.
Let me just say, our brains are amazing! Though incredibly heart-wrenching, stories like the ones listed in the article are so cool because they show us that there is still hope for recovery, even after some of the most stressful and traumatic experiences. I have yet to see the movie(definitely on my to do list!), but what I've gathered is that Joy did an excellent job providing the best environment for Jack as she could and that is truly what gives him such a good chance of recovery. Though our brains are resilient, they aren't perfect and I imagine most similar real-life cases wouldn't be as fortunate- if you can even call it that. I agree with Stephanie in that sheltering children as much as possible is definitely a good thing in such stressful situations. Though when the context is normal, sheltering children too much can become a negative thing for them and their development.
ReplyDeleteBeing in that kind of environment is very traumatizing, and stressful. Attentive parenting plays a huge role in the child, and how they will develop in the future. Even though with the circumstances Jack grew up in, "Ma"'s attitude was positive, which is what Jack needed. Human brains fascinate me more and more every day with what we are able to do in any situation we run into. If we put our mind into something and want to push ourselves, we will push ourselves to see the kind of abilities we hold, and try our very best if needed. It was sad when "Ma" attempted to hurt herself because of how it affected Jack, which made him really upset, and how his attitude went down. It was not a good time for her to do that, especially having a young child. I also really like how Stephanie pointed out that sheltering children from stressful situations is good, but sheltering children too much is not the best thing to do when it comes to their development. Children need to grown, and learn new things about the world that they never new about. Exploring with peers, and friends is a great way to get out there and try new things, gain independence, and learn new skills.
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